Notice to Guests in My Home
1. The dog lives here. You don't.
2. If you don't want the dog to be near you, stay off the furniture.
3. Yes, he has some disgusting habits. So do I and so do you. What's
4. OF COURSE he smells like a dog.
5. It's his nature to try to sniff your crotch. Please feel free to
6. I like him a lot better than I like most people.
7. He does THAT because he CAN!
8. To you he's a dog. To me he's an adopted son, who is short,
hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. I have no
problem with any of these things.
9. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or
drink, don't worry about whether they have the latest fashions,
don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for
university, and if they get pregnant you can sell them.